“And lead us not into temptation”

—Matthew 6:13

Of course, I must know the five ways to stop stress in its tracks!

I do need to know how to disable spyware on my phone!

Ooh, I want to learn how to sleep through the night without having to go to the bathroom!

A video of a cat chasing its tail? Yes, please!

We’re in the middle of the third week of Lent, and I must tell you: YouTube has proven to be a huge stumbling block to my media fast this year.

Part of the problem is that my morning Bible time involves listening to a free audio Bible on the app. (I planned to listen to it on CD, but my Sony Discman finally bit the dust.) Another part of the problem is that people send me links to videos. And the biggest problem of all? Me, myself, and I.

I come from a family of addicts, mostly alcoholics and chain-smokers. Long ago, I recognized that while I might have avoided the scourge of alcoholism or the habit of smoking, I still have an addictive personality. I’m forever chasing cheap dopamine, whether it’s scarfing down sugary or carb-laden snacks, playing silly match-three games on my phone, checking email constantly for new messages, or mindlessly scrolling through whatever the YouTube algorithm thinks will interest me. I don’t know how much of this is genetics, how much of it is my ADHD, and how much is the fact that many of the things I’m drawn to are specifically engineered to be addictive.

Regardless, in my opinion, this boils down to one issue: “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41).

It’s super easy to stay off of YouTube. All I have to do is not click on it. So why do I find myself wanting to access the app throughout the day, whether I’m on my phone or computer? My lack of self-control is completely contrary to this fruit of the Holy Spirit all believers are given (Galatians 5:22–23).

Some people might say I’m being too hard on myself. After all, what harm is done by watching a YouTube video every now and then? On the outside, this behavior might not seem like a big deal, but it reveals a deeper problem—a heart problem. If I can’t even give up something I don’t need, as a way to honor our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, for a paltry forty days, what will happen if I’m one day asked to sacrifice much bigger and more important things? Maybe even my life?

That’s why this particular struggle concerns me.

In Luther’s Small Catechism, he provides the following explanation for the Sixth Petition of the Lord’s Prayer, “And lead us not into temptation” (Matthew 6:13): “What does this mean? God tempts no one. We pray in this petition that God would guard and keep us so that the devil, the world, and our sinful nature may not deceive us or mislead us into false belief, despair, and other great shame and vice. Although we are attacked by these things, we pray that we may finally overcome them and win the victory.”

Although my inability to stay off YouTube might not be leading me into false belief or despair, I’m definitely ashamed of the fact that I can’t seem to stay off of it. And it may very well be a vice in my life. Truthfully, my smartphone on the whole is one of my vices. When one of my children asks me, “Mommy, why are you always on your phone?” and the only honest answer I can provide is, “I don’t know,” something is definitely wrong.

While admitting this struggle is embarrassing, light is a glorious, purifying disinfectant. Now that I’ve become aware of the problem and admitted it here publicly on this blog, all I can do is pray for the Lord to strengthen me during the remaining twenty-five days of Lent. When I feel tempted, I can ask Him to guard me and help me overcome the temptation.

Instead of letting my finger drift to click on the YouTube icon, I can fold my hands together, close my eyes, and picture Jesus on the cross. I can focus on His tremendous sacrifice for me and remind myself that He is the reason I’m doing this fast in the first place.

Yours in Christ,

Amanda

xoxo

Scripture taken from the New King James Version^®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.