See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

—Ephesians 5:15–16

Once upon a time, I obsessively made New Year’s resolutions. Year after year, I’d craft elaborate lists of things I wanted to accomplish in the upcoming months, whether personal improvements or projects. The excitement of a clean slate energized and inspired me to dream big.

When I underwent cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) over a decade ago, I learned that one of my most common “thinking errors” is something called “all-or-nothing thinking.” This is a rigid mindset that doesn’t allow for flexibility.

For example, I might think, Well, I already ate a few of these chocolates. I might as well finish the whole bag. And that will prevent me from eating them the rest of the week. See—I’m doing my future self a favor! (Notice the rationalization thrown in for good measure.)

Or I might say to myself, I haven’t exercised at all this week. Guess I’ll give up and try again next week.

Another example is when I focus exclusively on my failures instead of recognizing and celebrating the positive.

I’m sure you get the idea.

You can likely imagine how this mindset played out in regard to New Year’s resolutions. Within a matter of days, I’d slip up on one or more of them and think, I’m such a failure! I can’t even keep a New Year’s resolution for a week! I’d then endlessly castigate myself and usually abandon one or all of the resolutions before I flipped the calendar to February.

At the end of 2023, I decided to try a new approach. Instead of making a daunting list of resolutions, what if I set one intention that would contribute to true transformation?

In the final weeks of that year, I prayed for the Lord’s wisdom and guidance. The intention for 2024 was: Be integrated—mind, body, and spirit. This year my intention was Seek the Lord, based on Jeremiah 29:11–13 (especially verse 13) and Matthew 6:33.

As 2025 winds down, I’ve been praying about what my 2026 intention should be. Nothing was coming to mind, and I began to wonder whether I’d have something locked in by the time the clock struck midnight on January 1.

A few days ago, I met up with a fellow mom for a playdate with our children. During our conversation, we discussed technology’s impact on our families. After we shared about our struggles to unplug and unwind, I knew my intention for 2026:

Be present.

For many reasons, I struggle to stay in the moment. Even when I’m doing activities I enjoy, my physical presence doesn’t always indicate that I’m mentally and emotionally present. Particularly in stressful or boring situations, my dissociative tendencies often cause me to have what I refer to as an “out-of-body experience.” It’s like my brain is a little balloon that floats away at the first sign of discomfort.

On different occasions when I’ve been in therapy, we’ve worked on building my distress tolerance: that is, my ability to not allow myself to disengage when a situation became uncomfortable. I might force myself to sit in boredom and silence instead of picking up my phone or listening to a podcast. Or when someone was explaining something long and complex, I’d practice active listening. And perhaps most importantly, when my children were “feeling their feelings,” instead of running away, whether in my mind or in reality, I’d sit with them in their strong emotions, providing whatever it was they needed in the moment.

Everyone I’m in relationship with—family, friends, and God—deserve to have my undivided attention when I’m in their presence. As it says in Ephesians 5:15–16, I want to walk circumspectly and redeem the time. I don’t want to be checked out from the life that’s right in front of me—even the hard things, through which the Lord has taught me a lot. He has blessed me with a beautiful life, yet I frequently allow both internal and external chaos to distract me.

As we venture into this new year together, I pray that we’ll all heed the poignant admonition in Proverbs 4:25–26 to be intentional about the way we live: “Let your eyes look straight ahead, and your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established.” May it be so, Lord!

With love in Christ,

Amanda

xoxo

Scripture taken from the New King James Version^®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.